"Ambition, why do we have it? It seems like a curse most days, I am a struggling artist/entrepreneur because I have a bigger vision for myself and my work, and won't be happy until I obtain it. But because of this I have no money, I have no real assets, I have no husband, no children, nothing except debt to my name, an aging body and time spent from others. If I didn't have Ambition I would be perfectly fine working in a everyday job, perfectly happy with making what I make and having what I have. Living within my means and enjoying the small things. But NO, I have Ambition, and I want the world, and without the world I won't be able to stop. I struggle everyday to be joyful and upbeat that my break is just around the corner, working away at what I can on connections and leads, searching to find answers and my path. People will even say "you are right there; keep going you will get there soon." Some days I believe them, that I do feel like I am almost there that it feels like I can reach out and touch it, and other days I feel so far away. If I didn't have Ambition I wouldn't care if I gave up at this point of the game, I wouldn't care that I turned my back and threw up the towel, as I feel like doing so many times in a day. If I wasn't cursed with Ambition I might actually have something in my life right now then just a dream, maybe I would have a romance, a job, money, just one of those things I would take, but Ambition takes over and corrupts my personality with thoughts and adventures and leaves others behind, ignoring opportunities because they are not part of the master plan or the goal, snubbing moments and experiences that could make someone else very happy, but to me it is not enough. I am bound with depression on the thought that I will not achieve what I have set out to, accomplish what I want to, and live the way I dream about. Ambition, is a decease that controls your body, mind, and soul. It is wished by many but those who are cursed with it, always wants to achieve more, have more, and will do anything to get their more! However, those that have achieved their more, are the lucky Ambitionairs, they fought and struggled and landed on the top, and because of them the Ambition that is found in us, eats this, and wants it even more! It is a living entity, and it lives within me!! "
Um a living entity eh! I can see it being that way for sure in way, I guess!
Until next time,
w&c designer girl!